for better or for worst

I have 2 contradict situations with 2 souls that I love...read : yeah, i really love them...

One, should I be grateful? or should I feel sorry for myself? or should I prepare for the next downturn cycle...I don't know...

One, I'm praying hard..I need to. The voice, made me cry, make me feel like flying. The truth, I'm so worry...for not being able to face the situation, when it come...

*God, I'm a sin...please forgive me and please give me strength, that I really need...